Who doesn’t want to fit in? To be welcomed? Heck, even celebrated.
No one wants to be the odd one out. Society drills into us that approval—those little nods of acceptance—matter. A lot.
So, we chase them. From teachers at school. Friends in college. Bosses at work. Clients we serve. Even random strangers we’ll never see again.
Maybe they weren’t even looking at us. But we heard the imaginary judgment in our heads. Loud and clear.
So we tweak ourselves. We adjust. We stuff our quirks into the deepest, darkest corners of our hearts.
Maybe now they’ll notice us. Like us. Maybe even appreciate us.
But nope. Not yet.
Maybe a different shirt will work. Or a new haircut. A better accent. A sharper walk.
Maybe I should be funnier. No, wait—smarter.
Maybe I should just be better.
So we beg. We plead. We try again.
They look at us. Maybe with pity. Maybe with indifference. And they let us try again.
But we fail them.
And the truth? We weren’t failing them. We were failing ourselves.
The Version of Me That Wasn’t Me 🍂
My early 20s was a time when I got tired of all the running during my school & college years.
Running away from my weird. My crazy. My real self.
Trying so hard to fit in that I forgot to fit myself.
Laughing at jokes I didn’t get.
Wearing clothes I didn’t like.
Doing things I didn’t want to do.
At some point, I realized—I wasn’t even there.
I had let the "best years" of my life slip by without ever giving myself permission to have actual fun.
To show up as me.
I had so many questions about the way I felt. But I buried them. Because what if asking them out loud made me an outcast? A freak?
And that, ironically, freaked me out.
The Slow Rebellion 🎧
My 20s became a slow, steady rebellion.
A journey of unlearning.
One by one, I gave myself permission.
To sit with my questions.
To dig deeper.
To stop chasing people who were never mine to begin with.
As old friendships faded, I carved my own path.
And surprise, surprise—when I started being me, I found my people.
Turns out, my kind of crazy was celebrated.
Turns out, I was funny. I just needed to say my jokes out loud.
Turns out, my style was cool. Even the wild haircuts and blazers and bowties I thought I could never pull off.
Turns out, my love for doing a million things at once wasn’t “indecisive”—it was called a portfolio career.
Why the hell was I trying to hide myself for so long?
Gosh.
I wish I had met this version of me earlier. I would have done so many more ridiculous, wonderful things.
“I don't go crazy, I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time” - anonymous
Find your Weird & Follow it 📜
Here’s the thing: everyone has a weird.
It just depends on where you are, who you’re with, and what’s considered “normal” in that space.
The nerd in high school could be the genius in Silicon Valley.
The quiet kid in class could be a bestselling writer someday.
The kid who was always doodling in their notebook might be designing your favourite brand right now.
Your weird is only weird until you accept it.
And once you do? You start finding other weirdos who match your energy.
That’s the secret: Weird becomes normal when you own it.
And when you own it, you stop wasting time fitting in with people who were never meant to be your people.
So stop fighting your weird. Lean into it.
Because the best friendships, the most fulfilling careers, and the happiest moments? They all come when you find your people—not when you change yourself to be liked.
What entering my 30s Feels Like 🎮
My 30s? They’re going to be about going all in.
✅ Following my weird. My gut. My chaos.
✅ Going on an even deeper journey of knowing and liking myself.
✅ Finding my tribe and holding on tight.
✅ Saying things out loud without overthinking a gazillion times.
✅ Failing in public—and being okay with it.
Because the real win? Is in trying. In showing up. In being.
Goodbye, 20s. Thank you for the lessons, the heartbreaks, the resilience, and the love.
Hello, 30s. Let’s go get some chai, shall we? ☕
How to Own Your Weird 🌻
W – Welcome Your True Self
Stop apologizing for who you are. The real you deserves to exist.
E – Explore Your Quirks
Try new things. Wear the outfit. Take the class. See what makes you you.
I – Ignore the Noise
People will judge, but their opinions don’t pay your bills.
R – Reconnect with Your Tribe
Find people who love your kind of crazy. They exist—you just have to look.
D – Do It Anyway
Wear the bowtie. Make the joke. Start the business. Be cringe. Who cares?
Your weird is your magic. Don’t let the world dim it.
Reflect & Rewrite ✍🏻
Now, I’d love to know from you:
Take a moment to reflect and write this down in your journal (or comment below or email me privately):
Think about a time when you changed something about yourself just to fit in. How did it make you feel? Was it worth it?
What’s a “weird” part of you that you’ve always loved but kept hidden? What’s stopping you from embracing it?
If you weren’t afraid of judgment, what’s one thing you’d start doing today?
Write back with your thoughts because I truly want to hear what you think!✨
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I really loved reading this post, Sonali. I think you’ve learned some great lessons quite early in life. I hope your 30s bring you a lot of joy and make you stronger with each passing day, ready to take on the world every time.
Oh I absolutely loved this piece. Kinda relived my 20’s through it. My 30’s were liberating but boy I can’t wait to hit my 40’s in a couple of months.
Super excited to see what’s in store for you too :))