I was invisible to my friends - the very ones I grew up with

I feared, "will I be Invisible at work too?" But, things changed. I changed.

Sonali Dutta

May 02, 2024

Today, I want to share a story with you

The story that made me believe in myself

The story that showed me I could do or be anything (mostly)

The story that taught me to be brave, even when things seemed scary.

The story of me

And the one that has made me who I am today.

You see, back in school, I was one of the quieter kids in class. Sometimes even the quietest one.

I never spoke up much, always preferring to blend into the background rather than stand out.

At first, it didn't bother me much.

I had friends who liked having me around.
Teachers who were happy with my grades.
Parents who loved and adored me.

But as time went on, I began to realise that my silence was holding me back.

My skills and talents were being overshadowed because I couldn't vouch for myself.

I couldn't stand up and make my voice heard, and as a result, I was missing out on opportunities left and right.

I was always the listener
Never the one with opinions
I was always the patient one
Never the one who asked for things
I was always an observer
Never the one people wanted to see

I felt like a loser!

This feeling turned things around for me.

I knew things had to change.

I knew I had to push myself out of my comfort zone. The quiet cozy corner I had built for myself wasn't doing me any good.

It began in college

I made a conscious effort to change my mindset.

I realized that in these new environments, nobody knew about my shy nature.

To them I was this new person.

I could reinvent myself however I wanted to be.

So, I began imagining different versions of myself.

If I were the coolest kid in school, how would I act?

Would I worry about every little thing I did?

Would making friends be easy for me?

As I thought about these questions, I decided to act just like that confident kid would.

With each interaction, I felt myself growing more confident.

I saw the results. I started to like this new me.

This then continued through my first internship, and finally, into the workplace.

People began to take notice.

Soon enough, they didn't believe me when I said I used to be the invisible kid in the corner.

Yes, I had friends, but I was always in the shadows.

Now, I take the spotlight.

I've even made a career out of it - can you believe it?

I talk for a living.

Public speaking and training have become my bread and butter.

My story might not be super special, but it's real.

For a long time, I just watched life happen around me.

I always wished someone would give me the courage I needed,

And that's the courage I want to give you.

Have you ever felt this way? Invisible

While this may or may not be a good thing in your personal life – that’s for another day

It’s definitely not the best thing for your career

Feeling invisible at work, would mean:

Not being comfortable to speak up in meetings
Ignoring your own feelings / judgment
Colleagues not giving importance to your opinions
Feeling hesitant to share ideas or suggestions with your team
Not being chosen for important projects or opportunities to move up in your job.
Feeling like your coworkers and bosses don't see how valuable you are.
Not getting credit for the good work you do for your team or company.
Finding it hard to make strong friendships with the people you work with.
Feeling left out or left behind when important decisions are being made.
Having trouble speaking up for yourself or telling others what you need at work.

…. And more

Imagine being the best-kept secret, hidden in plain sight.

Even if you don't want to pursue the same career as me,

Learning how to stand out will still serve you well.

It's helped me be seen, heard and valued.

Not such a bad deal, is it?

I never want to go back to being that shy, timid kid in the corner.

And I don't think you should have to be either.

It’s time to take the leap of faith, ready?

Grab your notebook and jot these down. Stick them up somewhere you'll see them every day:

It’s time to be BOLD

Be Your Biggest Cheerleader - Stand up for yourself like you would for your BFF (do they still call them that nowadays?)
- Don't be afraid to share your thoughts, even if you're nervous. If you can’t speak up at first… start small by using the chat option in meetings. Keep your camera off if it helps. Take baby steps towards being heard.

Own Your Expertise - Make the experience on your resume count
- Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to share your knowledge. Whether you're an expert on dinosaurs like Ross or a fashion enthusiast like Rachel. Remember, sometimes the loudest voices are the weakest. Let your presence be felt.

Let Your Imagination Soar - Find inspiration in your favourite movie/series/book character
- Imagine how your favourite character would handle a situation. If you were as confident as Joey from "Friends" or as determined as Gloria from "Modern Family." How would they handle a situation? Use their confidence as inspiration to find your own voice.

4. Dare to Lead - Take on Leadership Roles before being asked to

Look for chances to lead your team or group. This could mean being in charge of a project, leading a team meeting, or organising a fun activity for everyone.