Date your Job but Marry your Career
You’ll Want To Keep This To Yourself 🤐
I asked my friends… “what did you want to be when you grew up?”
Here’s what they said…
Painter
Scientist
Astronaut
Disney Princess
Pilot
Photographer
Doctor
I was curious to know more
So I asked… “Why didn’t you pursue it?”
Some folx grew out of the interest.
Some ended up in careers that don't match their degrees.
For others, the dream simply felt out of reach.
"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius
Here’s my story:
I left Kolkata for Bangalore at 23
With a heavy heart filled both fear and excitement.
Leaving behind the familiar streets of my hometown was scary
but the thought of starting something new was thrilling.
I moved to Bangalore all by myself.
I didn't know many people there.
It was a big change.
Away from the cozy comforts of my family.
I was back to being my shy, scared self.
Overwhelmed! Excited!
Thankfully, I wasn't alone on this journey.
I had supportive co-founder who believed in me,
My family back home always cheered me on.
They gave me the courage to pursue my dreams.
I lacked formal education in business.
But I really wanted to make things work.
I immersed myself in learning
I needed to understand this new world.
Surrounded myself with mentors, absorbed every piece of advice.
Slowly but surely, I began my journey of entrepreneurship.
Starting from scratch in a new city was daunting,
but deep down, I knew I was meant for more than just the ordinary.
The day I finally opened the doors to our own office was very special.
My family flew in for the event. It was a moment I'll never forget.
Seeing the pride in their eyes made all the hard work worth it.
Then the unthinkable happened - the Covid-19 pandemic
The passion and drive within us kept pushing us forward.
We worked tirelessly, adapting to the new normal.
We started to taste success.
Working with students from all over India
One of the most rewarding moments…
the first time our teens started to feel more confident about themselves.
It felt like my own soul was growing. Their success became my success.
I'm proud to have taken that leap of faith
It really did pay off
It's been five years since then. I took an exit from the Startup.
Took the next leap.
Re-invented & Re-discovered myself.
Continued to do what I love.
How?
I married my Career but kept dating Jobs!
The Quest for the Right Fit
My first (informal) job was that of a Tutor.
I was still in school and would earn INR 500 per month teaching English to junior grade kids.
My first (formal) job was in Design.
I was an intern and junior designer for a big manufacturing company who also designed modular kitchens.
Now I still teach and I still design. More pay, Less stress.
You might start in one field, only to realize it's not where you belong.
And that's okay.
The key is to keep exploring until you find your fit.
It's easiest to jump ship at the first sign of dissatisfaction.
The temptation of Job Hopping is real.
But, don’t let it become a hobby.
Remember to bring your best version to every relationship you enter, to every job you take up.
Keep looking.
The only way to find your one and only is by meeting more people and going out on more dates = Interviews, Internships, Volunteering, Jobs.
→ The Multiple-Careers Approach
Here’s every Job I have dated so far:
English Tutor
Event Volunteer
Call Centre executive
Interior Designer
Tours and Travels Executive
Marketing Officer
Guitar Tutor
Digital Marketing Trainer
Soft Skills Trainer
YouTuber
Director of People Operations
Customer Success Manager
Co-Founder of a Education Startup
Independent Consultant
DEI Consultant
Each job got me closer to where I wanted to be.
Who I wanted to be.
I stopped tutoring after college but I was still a teacher at heart.
No matter what I did, I somehow ended up training friends, colleagues and clients in some way or the other.
This became one of my transferable skills.
I was able to bring more value to every job I took up = every relationship I entered.
Just like me, you might start in one job and end up in another.
Remember to Keep learning from each experience, add that to the next and build on it.
Leave the place better than you found it
What transferable skill do you have? Look through your resume and jot down anything you have been doing over and over again.
Finding Your Professional Soulmate
What's the difference between a fleeting romance and a lifelong partnership?
Same as a Job and a Career.
While a job may offer a quick thrill, a career is a long-lasting adventure.
But how do we find our professional soulmate?
The best way to attract the right person is first by becoming one.
Professionally, I fell in love with being a public speaker, trainer & facilitator.
One-on-one interactions soon became a smaller group and eventually, I found myself on stages.
I kept learning and brushing up on these skills at each job.
My love was evident and my employers saw that too.
So this became a differentiator when I applied.
Even when my primary role had nothing to do with this.
Sometimes I wasn’t even paid more.
I still found a way to continue wanting to marry Speaking as a Career.
Don’t settle till you find your forever and after.
What would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life?
"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work." - Steve Jobs
“It’s not you, it’s me”
When it comes to your career, every move should be intentional.
Instead of swiping right on every potential job offer, take the time to assess whether it aligns with your long-term goals.
Do you want to go on a second date?
Does this Job role complement your skills, values, and ambitions?
I listed down every field that interested me and started applying.
Each interview felt like a first date.
I learned about the company and they learned about me.
Not every position would be the one, but each interview was an opportunity to grow.
I took a bet on work that excited me, even when it seemed scary.
Sometimes, the chemistry just wasn't there, so I had to gracefully move on.
Just as in dating, settling for something that doesn't feel right is never the answer.
If it didn’t work out, I tried my best not to burn bridges and move on.
Loyalty: A Two-Way Street
Some relationships last a lifetime.
Some don't.
When both the parties are equally invested.
When they have the same vision for their lives.
When they can truly complete each other.
It makes sense to keep working on it
But some people stay in relationships even when they're not happy.
The false hope of ‘what if things get better’ keeps them trapped.
This approach is neither good for a relationship nor for a job
Gone are the days when loyalty meant staying with the same company for decades.
In today's fast-paced world, loyalty is a two-way street.
Employers who recognize and reward your contributions are worth sticking with.
But if they don't, why hesitate to explore?
Loyalty used to mean staying at one job for a long time even at the cost of your happiness.
But now, it's about finding a company that treats you right.
I have worked with some of the best people.
As a people pleaser, it was hard for me to leave when it was time to let go.
But I soon realized that employers don’t expect you to be there forever.
Not everyone wants you to get married to the job.
Some employers are also truly interested in your growth.
They realize they might not be able to give you what you’re looking for.
Loyalty starts by being honest to yourself.
By knowing that some relationships (read: jobs) are short lived.
It doesn’t have to be anyone's fault.
Be loyal to what you can bring to the table…
and be loyal to your current partner (read: employer) by knowing when to leave.
Friendzone them
Do you fall for everyone you meet?
I remember going out with people and instantly thinking,
“This person would be such a great friend.”
There was no spark, but you vibed.
Why does it have to be any different for your career?
In some industries, who you know matters more than what you know.
The power of making connections can open more doors than you realize.
“I keep following your posts on LinkedIn. So proud to see how far you’ve come”
Got this text from my first internship colleague.
I still talk to at least 1 person from every job I've had.
We may not be the best of friends, but we look out for each other.
If I find something that could help them, I share it with them. And they do the same for me.
Make sure you keep adding people to your Friend(zone)list.
Go to LinkedIn - say Hi to an old friend today!
It’s a Match!
Have you heard of the six handshakes rule?
It says that everyone is connected through six or fewer people.
So, you can link any two people through a chain of "friend of a friend" in just six steps.
Your friend(zoned) buddy can actually introduce you to the love of your life aka your Dream Career.
This could happen when you least expect it.
Will you come across surprised or prepared?
Keep your tools sharp:
your resume fresh
your skills updated
your interview game strong
Always know your worth, and negotiate for it.
(Don’t) Sell Yourself (Short)
“So why didn’t it work out?”
Job-hopping can sometimes carry a negative stigma,
but it's all about how you frame your experience.
Be honest about your job history.
Show how each move was a step up.
And remember, it's okay to negotiate for what you're worth.
Your value as an employee should be reflected in your compensation.
When I was hiring for my startup, too many job changes looked like a red flag to me too 🚩 🚩 🚩
Stunning Hypocrisy! 🙄
So I know how the employer feels.
A new joinee takes anywhere between 3 - 6 months to get trained and then actually perform.
Wouldn’t you be insecure if your date has had too many short term flings in the past?
I know I would.
Trust is your leverage.
Tell them what you bring to the table.
When a potential employer questions your history, be honest and transparent about your motivations.
Focus on the progression and growth you've achieved with each move, rather than the frequency of your job changes.
Nail that next move!
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” — William James
Is it time to Swipe right?
What’s that saying?
“Someone somewhere is made for You”
But do they know where and how to find you?
You are the CEO of your career.
Focus on jobs where you can grow and contribute long-term.
Building a successful career is more than just finding a job that pays the bills.
Stay Sharp, Stay Ahead
"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."
- Maya Angelou
Aaaaaaand….that’s a wrap!
💛 Sonali
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I have been telling the same to my students and anybody else I came across