Peer pressure is SO last season, don't you think?
The Push You Didn’t Know You Needed (Thanks, Friends)
Peer pressure has a bad reputation. It has historically led people to do things they didn’t wish to, only to impress people they didn’t need to.
My relationship with peer pressure has been, let’s say, consistent. We first met in school when I was an introverted, painfully shy kid.
If I’m being honest, I could even argue it was my first friend — a clingy, overbearing one, but a friend nonetheless.
As the years went by, peer pressure stuck around, morphing with every new phase of my life.
In my teenage years, it was all about trying to be “cool” with a crowd that probably didn’t notice if I was there or not.
Then came adulthood, where it took on more sophisticated disguises — like appeasing helicopter managers at work or staying in lopsided relationships where I was the doormat.
It was one bad decision after another, each one fueled by an unspoken need to fit in, to be validated, or to just survive the moment.
But here’s the twist: not all peer pressure is bad.
I never thought something as infamous as peer pressure could have a positive spin. But life, as it turns out, loves a good plot twist.
I have a bunch of friends — some I see regularly, others less often.
But thanks to Instagram, the millennial version of a bulletin board, we’re all in the loop. Birthdays, vacations, new jobs, heartbreaks — you name it, we know it.
Recently though, I’ve found myself feeling something unusual for a bunch of them: pure, unfiltered pride.
The Good Kind of Peer Pressure: Yes, It’s a Thing
There’s this one friend of mine who’s practically living out her dream.
She’s building her solo business from the ground up, traveling to all these places, attending conferences, and working with people whose resumes make me blink twice.
Her Instagram stories are like a Netflix docuseries — only, I don’t feel jealous. Not one bit.
Instead, I find myself thinking,
“Okay, she’s out there earning her spot in the world. What am I doing?”
It’s not FOMO, it’s this healthy nudge to push myself, to be worthy of being in her circle.
Then there’s another friend who’s taken the leap into parenthood.
I swear, every time I see their stories, my baby fever goes up ten notches.
(I also imagine all the ways I’d spoil the kid).
Their joy is infectious, and it makes me think about what I’m investing in — not just work, but life itself.
Because Winning at Life Is Better with Your Friends Cheering You On
Here’s the thing: we all need friends like this.
Friends who light a fire under you, not to compete in a toxic way, but to inspire you to grow, evolve, and do better. It’s not about keeping score; it’s about being around people who raise the bar.
And honestly? These are the kind of people who make peer pressure look like a blessing.
So, how do we flip the narrative on peer pressure?
It’s all about choosing your tribe wisely and reshaping how you see influence.
Curate Your Circle: Surround yourself with people whose lives inspire you—not just their achievements, but their grit, values, and passions. These are the ones who will encourage you to aim higher without making you feel smaller.
Order some cakes: Instead of comparing, cheer for your friends’ victories. Their success doesn’t dim your potential; it should remind you that it’s possible for you too.
Engage, Don’t Obsess: It’s easy to fall into the doom-scroll trap. Instead, use what you see as fuel. Let their hustle motivate you to work on your own goals.
Just Ask: Talk to your friends about how they’ve overcome challenges. You’d be surprised at how many lessons you can learn from their stories—and how supportive they’ll be of yours.
Be “That” Person: Positive peer pressure works both ways. Lead by example. Be the friend who inspires others, whether it’s through your ambition, kindness, or relentless pursuit of growth.
Peer Pressure Deserves a Second Chance
We are taught to endure life’s pressures from a very young age.
Academic pressures, societal pressures, career pressures—it’s like a constant game of dodgeball, but the balls just keep getting bigger.
At some point, it stops feeling like a game and becomes our identity. Pressure is what we know, and we start to think it’s what defines us.
But maybe it’s time for a little rebranding. Let’s shift the focus from pressure to PEER. It’s about taking a good look at our surroundings, the voices we let influence us, and asking, “Is this actually doing me any good?”
Let’s move beyond the outdated, clichéd idea of peer pressure—it’s so last season, innit? Instead, let’s rewrite the script to harness the power of positive peer influence.
Peer Pressure, But Make It Positive
P: Push Each Other Positively – Encourage growth without judgment.
E: Engage Authentically – Celebrate real connections over superficial ones.
E: Energize Through Example – Inspire others by living your truth.
R: Raise the Bar Together – Help each other reach new heights.
Positive peer pressure isn’t about competition—it’s about collaboration. It’s about looking at your tribe and saying, “If they can do it, so can I.”
Thank you so much for reading! If this post resonated with you, go ahead and like it—or leave a comment if you're feeling inspired!
Now, I’d love to hear from you:
Which friend has inspired you to be, do and live more lately?
Reply back with your thoughts, I promise to reply back✨
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
I'm Sonali, and I speak for a living. From one of the quietest kids in class, I've found my voice as a Speaker, Author, and Coach.
I've reached over 100,000 viewers on Josh Talks and spoken at various business events and universities. I've also co-authored two books. I'm currently working on my first solo book about overcoming insecurities.
As a LinkedIn Top Voice in Public Speaking, I'm here to help you level up your presentation skills—sign up for my waiting list through this link.
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