Therapy: What I Experienced and What You Need to Know Before You Start
Myth: Therapy is not just you lying on a couch while someone sits behind a desk taking notes.
Therapy: The word itself makes some people uncomfortable, right? I get it. I’ve been there.
It’s funny how we prepare for everything in life—exams, interviews, meetings—but when it comes to our mental health, we hesitate.
Starting therapy can feel like stepping into uncharted territory. For many, that first session is a mix of nerves, curiosity, and even doubt.
The good news? It’s completely normal to feel this way, and you're not alone.
Here’s everything I’ve picked up from my own therapy journey — spilling all the juicy details.
(Fingers crossed my therapist isn’t reading this! 😋 😅)
What's Inside:
Choosing the Right Therapist
Story Time (don’t make the mistakes I did)
The First Session: What to Expect
What Should You Share?
Therapy Isn’t Like the Movies
Facing the Nervousness
How I Found The One & you can too (Spoiler: It Took a While)
Why Therapy Works & What it meant to me (Also Why It Wasn’t a Quick Fix)
"You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you." — David Allen
Choosing the Right Therapist
Before we even get to the session, let’s talk about picking the right therapist.
It’s a bit like dating — you have to find someone you’re comfortable with. Not everyone will be the right fit, and that’s okay.
When I was looking for my first therapist, I felt like I was browsing through resumes of people I didn’t know but was about to bare my soul to! It helped to go through their specialties and read reviews.
Some therapists offer short introductory calls, which can be helpful to see if you vibe.
Ask yourself:
Do you want someone who specializes in a specific area (anxiety, trauma, relationships)?
Do demographics matter - age, gender, background, language etc.
Are you looking for a more structured approach like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), or someone who can help you dig deeper into emotional patterns?
What format do you prefer: in person, phone call, chat, video call.
Here’s my Story
I always believed in therapy and the importance of mental health.
In fact, my first startup was centered around building emotional health for teenagers. I did my own research and studies on it back then. Ironically, when my startup hit some dark days, that’s when I needed therapy the most.
Financial troubles and the lack of clarity about where we were heading triggered panic attacks in me. I didn’t even know what they were at first — it felt like a rock was pressing down on my chest. All I remember was that there was a lot of physical pain and sleepless nights.
I remember thinking, "What is happening to me?" That's when my co-founder suggested therapy. And let me tell you — it helped. A lot.
But did I stick with it? Nope. I did a few sessions and thought I was good to go. Classic mistake.
The second time therapy came into my life was after a really bad breakup. The panic returned. I was down for the count, and my parents were like, “You need help.”
I found myself back in the therapist's office.
Two knock-out rounds later, I realized maybe therapy isn’t just a "fix it when it's broken" thing. It’s like going to the gym for your brain. You work out, keep it healthy, and build up those emotional muscles.
That’s when I made it a regular part of my life.
Your First Session: It’s Not as Weird as You Think
Walking into that first session felt a bit like entering a new school. You have a rough idea of what it’s going to be like, but you're still not sure what will happen.
For me, I was caught between excitement and apprehension. I remember thinking, "What if I don't even know where to start?"
The first session is often about getting to know each other.
Your therapist will probably ask what brought you to therapy and what you're hoping to gain from it. You’re not expected to have everything figured out.
I honestly just mumbled a bunch of stuff about feeling overwhelmed, confused about life, and wanting to get more control.
That was enough to get started.
What Should You Share?
This is where it gets tricky. How much should you share in your first session?
Truth is, you don’t need to unload everything all at once. Therapy is a process.
Start by discussing the things that are most pressing in your mind. I remember hesitating a lot, unsure if what I was saying made any sense.
But my therapist reassured me: “There’s no right or wrong way to feel.”
It’s important to tell your therapist what works for you. For me, I prefer practical, simple exercises from time to time. I also get anxious when my therapist runs late, even by a few minutes.
It helps to be honest — your therapist needs to learn about you just as much as you’re learning about yourself.
Therapy Isn’t Like the Movies
Let me bust a myth: therapy is not just you lying on a couch while someone sits behind a desk taking notes. It's an active conversation.
It’s more of a collaboration than a one-way street. You speak, they listen, but it’s also about what you both uncover together.
I initially thought I'd be ‘fixed’ after a few sessions — like how they show in films. It didn’t work that way. Therapy is about progress, not perfection.
I even make notes during my sessions sometimes. I go back to them from time to time, especially when I feel like I’m getting stuck.
Fun fact: this blog is a result of those notes!
Are you still nervous?
It’s okay to feel nervous, even skeptical, during your first session. Even the first few ones. I certainly did. I didn’t know if I’d be able to open up fully or whether I’d even come back for a second session.
But something unexpected happened. Once I started talking, I realized how much I had been holding in. The session became less about the nerves and more about relief.
You might leave your first session feeling a little drained, but that’s a good sign. It means you’re processing emotions.
I remember feeling lighter, but also like my brain had just done a mini workout.
How I Found The One & you can too (Spoiler: It Took a While)
Finding the right therapist might take a few awkward first dates (or therapy sessions) before you discover “the one.”
Give each therapist at least three sessions before making a call. Think of it as the “getting to know you” phase!
It’s not fair to judge them based on a single interaction, just like you wouldn’t judge a romantic partner after one coffee date. You need to see if you vibe together, right? Sometimes it takes a few rounds to uncover the magic!
And hey, don’t be shy about exploring different options. Each therapist has their own flair, and you might stumble upon some unexpected wisdom — even from someone who isn’t your long-term therapist.
Kind of like going on a bad date and realizing what you definitely don’t want in a partner!
So keep your heart (and mind) open. It might feel frustrating at times, but remember: your ideal therapist is out there, waiting to join you on this journey.
You just need to keep swiping (metaphorically, of course) until you find that perfect match!
I made a list of qualities I wanted: degrees, background, age, gender, and practical approach. After meeting a few people, I found the one — a therapist who checked all my boxes. It took time, but I didn’t settle.
Why Therapy Works & What it meant to me (Also Why It wasn’t a Quick Fix)
Therapy is a mirror. Not just for your problems but for yourself. Heck, I didn’t even realize how much of my stress was self-imposed until my therapist called me out on it. That was a wake-up call.
My mind was running a marathon every day, and therapy slowed it down.
It’s like having a personal trainer for your emotions, but instead of dumbbells, you’re lifting the weight of your feelings.
Therapy works because it provides a safe space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without judgment. You get to untangle the mess in your mind with the help of a professional who does not just slap a band-aid on your issues.
It took time to unpack the emotional baggage I had been carrying around. There were days when I left the session feeling lighter, and others when I thought, “What have I even accomplished?”
But every session brought me a step closer to clarity, and I learned that progress isn’t always linear.
"The best way out is always through." — Robert Frost
In a Nutshell:
Take your time to find the right therapist.
Have honest conversations about your needs.
Evaluate how you feel after each session.
Realize that progress takes time.
Actively engage with the process.
Practice patience—growth doesn’t happen overnight.
You are worth the investment.
I know, we’re still in a world where talking about therapy makes people uncomfortable. I get that.
You don’t have to tell everyone about it if you don’t want to. For me, it’s a personal practice. I share my therapy stories with people who are on the same wavelength.
The point is, therapy is your space. Make it what you need. Don’t wait until things fall apart to ask for help.
Make it a habit, like brushing your teeth — just for your mind.
Okay, that sounds weird, but you get the point :)
P.S. I don’t generally give out movie recommendations here, but do watch ‘Dear Zindagi’ - you’ll thank me later.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
I'm Sonali, and I speak for a living. From one of the quietest kids in class, I've found my voice as a Speaker, Author, and Coach.
I've reached over 100,000 viewers on Josh Talks and spoken at various business events and universities. I've also co-authored two books. I'm currently working on my first solo book about overcoming insecurities.
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