What Ifs & Could Haves
For anyone who keeps wondering and needs answers! (including myself)
“…Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
I still remember these lines by Robert Frost from his poem, ‘The Road Not Taken’
I learned it in school years ago, but it clearly left a mark.
My First Big Decision
I was in college when I got my first internship.
I was doing a diploma in Interior Designing and needed to do one month of an internship to complete it.
This was alongside my college, where I was doing my bachelors in Commerce.
Luckily, two big companies came to our design school for placements.
About thirty to forty students interviewed for each.
Company 1 had four internship slots, and Company 2 had just one.
I cleared all the rounds for both. Now the choice was with me.
Company 1 offered a six-month internship, while Company 2 offered a two-year contract.
This was my first big decision, and it was incredibly difficult.
I spoke to everyone I knew, sought advice from mentors and friends, and read extensively about both companies.
After much contemplation, I chose Company 1, deciding against the longer commitment.
Missed out or Dodged a Bullet 🔫?
My Internship began but I was distracted.
I often wondered if I made the right choice, especially knowing another girl got the position with Company 2.
My fellow interns and I would often think, "How is she doing? Is her work better than ours?”
What if I had chosen Company 2? What if I had not chosen Company 1?
Would life have been worse? Better? Would it still be the same?
It was hard to focus on my work because my mind was always filled with “what if” questions.
I was living in an alternate universe, constantly imagining how different things could be.
Presence of the Present 🧘🏼♀️
As time passed, I began to truly enjoy my internship.
I made wonderful friends and learned a great deal. The work, though challenging, was incredibly rewarding, and I started to see the value in my decision.
My fellow interns and I formed a fantastic team, supporting each other and growing together.
During the first month, we had only one bench to sit on and work. It was there that we created countless memories.
Here's a picture of that special place below.
We call it ‘The Singhasan’ which means ‘The Throne’
We’ve become lifelong friends, sharing many moments over the years, from attending weddings to celebrating victories and more.
“The past is history the future is a mystery and the present is a gift”
Down the Memory Lane
Looking back, it’s easy to wonder about different outcomes.
Eventually, I found out that the other girl who took the two-year contract did not complete her full term. She left because she didn't like the job.
By then, it didn’t matter to me anymore. I was happy with where I was.
My internship led me to start my first company with another fellow intern. We freelanced and designed for our own set of clients.
I took my first Workation (mix of work and vacation) for a project.
This picture fits so perfectly for this post, doesn’t it?
If I hadn’t chosen this path, I would have missed out on this amazing opportunity.
Could things have been better for me if I had chosen another path?
Maybe. Maybe Not.
There's no way to know for sure.
My focus has now shifted to something more important: How has this experience shaped me?
Connect the Dots
Have you seen Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement speech?
He reflects on pivotal moments in his life and urges graduates to pursue their dreams and find opportunities in setbacks.
This was suggested by a friend and that’s when I first heard of - Connecting the Dots.
It means that we can't predict the future, but we can understand our past. Every choice, every step we take, connects to form our journey.
Each Dot = Decision = leads us to where we are now.
For me, it was the Internship followed by the workation that made things clear.
It made me realize that I value freedom and creativity more than job titles and promotions.
This discovery influenced all the projects I pursued next.
It has made me who I am today.
It didn’t seem to make sense at the time, but looking back, I can see how everything fits together.
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward." - Steve Jobs
Put your Blinders on!
Living for the "maybes" can keep us stuck.
The future doesn’t exist yet.
The past, present, and future are always happening at once in our minds.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out on things. Classic FOMO!
But I'm learning to take deep breaths and bring myself back to reality.
I realize that comparing my life to others' doesn't make sense because everyone's journey is different.
Every person's life follows its own timeline, influenced by many things.
Where they're from, who they meet, what they can do and at times just plain luck.
That's why it's important for us to wear our own set of blinders in life.
Yes, like thoroughbreds = racehorses 🐎
Would you bet on a horse that kept looking around, getting distracted by the other horses?
I know I wouldn’t.
"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened." - Mark Twain
My 30 Under 30 List
Beyond the Pursuit of Job Titles and Promotions
1. 😴 A Good night’s sleep
2. ☕ Slow Mornings
3. 😍 The freedom make choices
4. 🏃🏼♀️ Time for fun and play
5. 🌻 Enjoying nature
6. 🚶🏼♂️ Long walks
7. 🍲 Home cooked meals (mom made)
8. 🌈 Rainbows
9. ✍🏼 Ability to freely express yourself
10. 🛌🏼 Day naps
11. 🗣 A good conversation
12. 🗓 A blank calendar
13. 🎨 Uninterrupted creative time
14. 🤸🏼♀️ A healthy body
15. 🐕 Spending time with your pet
16. 🕊 Peace of mind
17. 📖 Reading a good book
18. 💻 Loving your Job
19. 🤗 Feeling Appreciated
20. 🤣 Laughing until it hurts
21. 👋🏼 Living near Friends and Family
22. 🎯 Personal milestones
23. 🏖 Spontaneous trips
24. 🤠 Fun co-workers
25. 👥 Therapy
26. 💇🏼♂️ A good hair day
27. 🙋🏼♂️ Having a mentor
28. 📝 Ticking things off your To-Do list
29. 📨 0 new emails
30. 💟 Random acts of Kindness
What's on your list?
Soul-Searching
Find clarity by asking yourself these questions:
What does my ideal life look like?
Am I running in the same race as others?
What am I competing for?
How does this decision take me closer to my ideal life?
What am I grateful for today?
Once you’re done, the final question could be, Where do you want to go from here?
You cannot split test life
All you have is perception. There's no single truth; you shape the reality you live in.
When in confusion, take this ROAD:
Reflect on your choices.
Open your mind to new paths.
Accept what you can’t change.
Decide on your next steps.
Sometimes, it's hard not to think about the ‘What if’s’. They pop up in your mind when you least expect it.
It just makes you question your choices.
Life is full of "what ifs" and sometimes, you just have to let them go.
Trusting yourself by knowing you made the best decision you could at that time.
And if life gets you down? You know what you gotta do?
“Just keep swimming” - Dory, Finding Nemo
Stay Slayin!
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