For Every Woman Who’s Been Told She’s ‘Too Much’ – This One’s for You
Smile Pretty, Sit Quiet? No Thanks.
You know what's funny? I spent years feeling like I had to apologize for my face. Sounds weird, right?
But there I was, 23 years old, walking into meetings where everyone expected a "proper grown-up."
"Are you sure you're in the right room?" That’s what one client actually asked me.
I wanted to sink into the floor.
But, I straightened my blazer (the one I bought specifically to look "older") and got through the presentation.
wasn’t just nervous because I was young or still learning. I was nervous because I knew how people saw me before I even opened my mouth.
Too Young, Too Soft, Too….—Or So They Said.
They assumed I wasn’t serious enough. That I lacked credibility. That I wasn’t “leadership material.” It was exhausting—constantly feeling like I had to prove something before I even got a chance to do anything.
Looking back now, I have to laugh. All that time I spent worrying about looking young?
Those same clients later told me they found me approachable precisely because I wasn’t another suited-up consultant spewing rehearsed lines.
And if I could go back and tell my younger self one thing?
"Walk into the room like they need you in it. Because they do."
☝🏻 Read this on Instagram, just had to share!
The World Women Live In
Women exist in two parallel worlds: the one we navigate physically and the one playing on repeat in our minds.
Out in the real world, we are observed, scrutinized, and slotted into categories.
If we are reserved, we’re overlooked.
If we are direct, we’re labeled aggressive.
If we appear too young, we’re seen as incapable.
If we are older, we’re considered outdated.
At work, we sit in meetings where our ideas need a louder voice to be acknowledged, where we are interrupted mid-sentence, where assumptions are made before we even introduce ourselves.
Inside our own heads, the expectations are relentless.
Be confident, but not intimidating.
Be ambitious, but not too aggressive.
Be decisive, but not unlikable.
And after years of walking this tightrope, we start to believe we need permission to take up space.
I was no different.
"It’s a huge opportunity for you!" people would tell me.
And I would say yes, not realizing that I wasn’t being given an opportunity—I had earned it.
But the problem with seeing yourself as lucky is that you forget you have the right to say no.
That realization only hit me when I took a step back and thought: Why am I even doing this?
I had agreed to work that didn’t challenge me, conversations that didn’t interest me, and expectations that weren’t mine to carry.
That’s when I decided—there isn’t always a right path. Sometimes, you choose one and make it right along the way.
So I stopped shrinking myself.
I stopped making my edges softer to make others comfortable. I stopped explaining my standards to people who never planned to meet them. I stopped watering myself down just so others wouldn’t find me “too much.”
And if some people weren’t ready for that? Well, they could go find someone easier to handle. (Easier said than done, I know… but we gotta start somewhere)
Don’t Dim, Don’t Shrink, Don’t Apologize.
If you ever want to shift your mindset, surround yourself with strong women.
Not just the famous ones, but the ones quietly making a difference in their own worlds.
Women who hold their ground. Women who say no without guilt. Women who break cycles—whether in boardrooms, communities, or their own families.
Women who question their own limits—and will question yours too.
Talk to them. Learn from them. Let them push you to question the limits you’ve accepted for yourself.
I once had a conversation with a woman who told me, “You are not being difficult. You are being clear.” That sentence changed the way I spoke up in meetings.
Another reminded me, “Not everything requires your energy. Protect it.” That made me rethink every unnecessary "yes" I had given.
Truth be told: the people you surround yourself with reflect how much you believe in your own worth.
Spend time with women who call out your self-doubt. Who won’t let you dismiss your own successes. Who remind you that your value isn’t tied to how much you accomplish in a day.
And most importantly, who remind you that you don’t have to participate in every sad feeling or problem offered to you.
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What If You’re Already Winning?
Success used to feel like a moving target, shaped by everyone else’s definition of what it meant to “make it.” And for a long time, I struggled to keep up.
Now? I measure success in ways that I can control.
Like this book I’m writing. My first measure of success isn’t hitting bestseller lists—it’s simply finishing what I started. Getting it out into the world. Everything else is extra.
It’s freeing to focus on what’s in my hands instead of chasing external validation.
“A girl should be two things: Who and what she wants.”
― Coco Chanel
For Any Woman Who Feels Like She’s Not Enough
Trust yourself when you feel drained—it’s not weakness, it’s wisdom.
The very things you think make you “too much” are often the things that make you powerful.
Your worth isn’t based on how much you do for others.
And If You Want to Support a Woman in Your Life
Challenge outdated beliefs that limit her.
Accept her boundaries without demanding an explanation.
Remind her that her voice, her choices, and her presence matter.
One Last Thought…
Some cycles continue for generations—until someone decides to break them.
It was always done this way… until someone decides to do things differently.
We spend too much of our lives trying to meet expectations that weren’t meant for us.
But life is too short to keep quiet, play small, or dull your shine. These days, I show up as I am—bold, growing, and completely myself.
And you know what? That’s more than enough.
WOMAN: A Reminder of Who You Are
💡 W – Walk in like you belong, and own it.
💡 O – Own your choices—don’t let the world decide for you.
💡 M – Measure success on your own terms, not theirs.
💡 A – Align with women who challenge and uplift you.
💡 N – Never shrink yourself to make others comfortable.
Reflect & Rewrite
Now, I’d love to know from you:
Take a moment to reflect and write this down in your journal (or comment below or email me privately):
✍️ What’s one outdated belief about yourself that you’re ready to let go of?
✍️ Where in your life do you need to set a standard, not just a boundary
✍️ If you weren’t afraid of being “too much,” how would you show up differently?
Write back with your thoughts because I truly want to hear what you think!✨
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