Question the Answer
Are You Living Someone Else’s Truth?
Are You Living Someone Else’s Truth?
Here’s a question for you: when was the last time you really challenged something you were told? I don’t mean in a dramatic way, like calling out your boss in a meeting.
I’m talking about those small, everyday moments — when a piece of advice was offered, when you accepted an “unspoken rule” of life, or even when you told yourself, “That’s just how things are.”
Did you pause and ask, “But why?”
It’s funny how often we move through life with answers that aren’t really ours. They come from all around us — society, parents, friends, movies, social media — and we soak them up without even realizing it.
But are these really your answers? Or are they just the ones that have been handed to you by everyone else?
In a world of endless opinions and advice, we often forget to listen to the one voice that truly matters: our own.
This is where I have to remind myself: Question the answer.
Not everything presented to you is your answer.
What's Inside:
The Comfort of the "Right" Answer
My "Right" Answer Wasn’t Mine
Your Gut Knows Better Than Your Feed
The Power of Asking "Why"
Questioning Doesn’t Mean Rebelling
Take a Pause: The Power of Not Rushing
The Courage to Not Know
Questioning Your Own Answers
Living Reflectively
"The answers you seek never come when the mind is busy. They come when the mind is still." – Unknown
The Comfort of the "Right" Answer
Let’s face it—we all love having the right answer. It’s comforting.
It makes us feel like we’re on the correct path. But the real question is: who’s determining this rightness? Is it you, or is it the world around you?
Often, we fall in love with a version of “right” that isn’t even our own. The society-approved checklist of success tells us what to do: get a degree, get married, have kids, buy a house, retire.
But is this version of right even ours? Or is it someone else's blueprint?
The allure of a “right” answer is that it shields us from the discomfort of uncertainty. But sometimes, it traps us in choices we never really chose.
My "Right" Answer Wasn’t Mine
There was a time when I thought I was making the right choice.
When I was in school, all my friends were choosing science, and so I followed suit. I didn’t want to part ways with them, didn’t want to be left out of their conversations or feel like I was taking a different path.
But that decision was never mine.
I struggled with the subject, fought to keep up, and eventually had to face the hard truth: this wasn’t the right choice for me.
So, I switched to commerce, and the difference was staggering. I suddenly felt more at ease, more aligned with the coursework, and better able to focus on what I was truly good at.
Meanwhile, my friends thrived in science—they had made the right decision for themselves. It was one of my earliest lessons that the “right” answer doesn’t come from looking at others, but from looking within.
Your Gut Knows Better Than Your Feed
You know that small, quiet voice inside you? That little voice that’s way smarter than any algorithm? The one that whispers when something just feels off?
That’s your gut.
Some people call it intuition, others call it a sixth sense, but whatever you name it, your gut is your internal compass — guiding you when logic alone isn’t enough.
The gut feeling is an accumulation of your experiences, knowledge, and subconscious observations, all pieced together in a way your brain can’t quite articulate with words. It’s when your body and mind are processing more information than you’re consciously aware of, and it’s trying to nudge you in the right direction.
But here’s the thing: most of us don’t listen to it enough. We drown it out with external opinions, data, and the pressure to conform. The key to sharpening your gut is to trust it.
The more you rely on it, the stronger it becomes.
Have you ever just known something without being able to explain how? That’s your gut speaking. The more you pay attention to those feelings, the easier it becomes to differentiate between a genuine gut instinct and fleeting anxieties.
Trust your gut. It's usually whispering the answer you need, while the world is screaming everything else.
The Power of Asking "Why"
You ever been around a 5-year-old who keeps asking, “Why?”
Yeah, that’s annoying.
But there’s power in that. Sometimes, as adults, we stop asking why because we’re afraid of not knowing the answer. Or worse, finding out that the answer we’ve been clinging to all along... doesn’t fit.
When you start asking “why,” you open the door to possibility.
Why do I want this job? Why am I choosing this lifestyle? Why do I want to stay single or settle down?
The beauty of “why” is that it doesn’t necessarily give you answers, but it gives you direction. It makes you pause and reflect instead of rushing to conclusions.
Questioning Doesn’t mean Rebelling
Here’s where things get interesting: questioning things doesn’t mean you’re rebelling against them.
We often confuse curiosity with defiance, especially when it comes to bigger life decisions like whether or not to become a parent, what kind of lifestyle to lead, or even political choices.
It’s not about rejecting the norms for the sake of it. It’s about finding out if those norms work for you. Questioning isn’t rebellion — it’s an exploration.
You don’t need to tear down traditions or go against the grain just because you're asking why.
You’re allowed to respect an idea while also examining whether it holds true for you.
Take a Pause: The Power of Not Rushing
Sometimes, all we need is a pause—a break from the constant rush of decisions, the pressure to choose right now. We tend to think that urgency means importance, but often, it's just a manufactured rush.
Here’s a throwback story of a time when I was vacationing with my family in Goa, we were casually walking around when a few people approached us, inviting us to check out the opening of their new hotel and property. They took us around, showed us the amenities, even gave us some refreshments, promising there was no obligation. Just a nice tour.
Well, after wasting more than two to three hours of our time, they shifted gears.
Suddenly, they were pushing hard to sell us a membership to their property, which was far from cheap. I could see my family starting to get worn down by the pressure—they were on the edge of giving in.
But I wasn’t. I saw right through their tactic.
I stepped up and firmly told them that I don't make financial decisions under pressure, and I wasn’t going to commit to something just because they had cornered us. I called them out for their unethical practice and made it very clear that they weren’t getting a penny out of me by putting me on the spot.
That moment taught me a lot.
Taking a pause and resisting pressure is one of the most powerful tools you can use to make thoughtful decisions. Not every decision needs to be made on the spot. Especially when finances or significant commitments are involved, stepping back and giving yourself space can prevent regret down the road.
The Courage to Not Know
Let’s be real—there’s something terrifying about not having the answer. We’re wired to crave certainty. We want to know what’s next.
But let me tell you, sometimes it takes more courage to admit that you don’t know than to cling to the wrong answer.
It’s okay to not know if you want kids right now. It’s okay to not have your 5-year plan mapped out. It’s okay to feel lost. The courage to not know opens up space for growth.
When you accept that it’s okay to be in the grey area, you allow life to unfold naturally without forcing an answer that might not even be yours.
The Importance of Therapy: Questioning Your Own Answers
You know what therapy does? It teaches you to sit with yourself.
A therapist doesn’t give you a list of answers — they question you, they nudge you to question your own thoughts. It’s not about having a professional tell you what to do.
It’s about someone guiding you through your own maze of confusion, helping you find clarity by asking the right questions.
In therapy, I learned that life isn’t about collecting answers like merit badges. It’s about staying open to the idea that those answers might change as we do.
"The most important decision you make is to be in a good mood." – Voltaire
Living Reflectively
When you find yourself at a crossroads, take a pause, and apply this framework to guide your decisions:
Q – Quiet the Noise: Mute the external voices—the social media debates, the opinions of others—and focus on what you really want.
U – Understand Both Sides: Whether it’s a polarizing debate or a personal decision, take time to explore both sides. The world isn’t black and white.
E – Evaluate Your Emotions: Before making a decision, ask yourself how you’re feeling. Are you being influenced by mood, pressure, or fear?
S – Sit with the Uncertainty: Not every decision needs to be immediate. Give yourself permission to be unsure.
T – Trust Your Gut: Strengthen your gut by listening to it. The more you rely on it, the better it becomes at guiding you.
I – Identify External Influences: Recognize what’s really driving your decision. Is it genuinely what you want, or is it someone else’s expectation?
O – Observe the Situation: Take a step back and look at the bigger picture before acting. What are the long-term effects?
N – Nurture Curiosity: Stay open to learning and changing your mind. Life isn’t about settling on one answer—it’s about continuous exploration.
Every day, our mind makes thousands of decisions—some small, like what to wear or eat, and others life-altering. Research suggests that decision fatigue is real; the more decisions we make, the more our cognitive resources are depleted.
That’s why it’s often said that we should tackle our most important decisions earlier in the day, when our minds are fresh and clear.
But whether you’re a morning person or a night owl, the key is knowing when you’re at your best. Save your crucial, life-changing decisions for when you feel sharp and energized, not when you’re drained by the day’s demands.
In a world full of noise, the real question isn’t about having the answers — it’s about having the courage to question the ones you're given.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
I'm Sonali, and I speak for a living. From one of the quietest kids in class, I've found my voice as a Speaker, Author, and Coach.
I've reached over 100,000 viewers on Josh Talks and spoken at various business events and universities. I've also co-authored two books. I'm currently working on my first solo book about overcoming insecurities.
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