Your Growth Is Making People Sweaty—And It’s Not Your Problem
Your ambition reminds them of a dream they buried—so they tell you to ‘be realistic.’
I used to have a lot of friends in school.
I remember turning 16 and having five or six surprise birthday parties—each one planned by a different group of friends.
Some from my class, some from childhood, some neighbours, some from my hobby classes, and some just because we vibed.
Those were the days when the world felt limitless.
We spent hours making plans, convincing our parents to let us have sleepovers, trying to be all cool and grown-up.
We taught each other things that would have made our teachers faint.
And then, we started drifting apart.
Hobbies became sacrifices for career choices.
Hangouts turned into study groups, debating over college admissions instead of movie nights.
The fear of falling behind took over—of not making it, of disappointing our parents.
We didn’t have the time anymore.
Time to Explore.
Time to Experiment.
Time to Express.
I struggled to keep up with this shift.
I wasn’t ready to give up my curiosity, the part of me that wanted to keep learning for the sake of it.
So, I followed my own path.
And my parents cheered me on.
For the first few years, I had no idea what I was doing.
While my friends moved to new cities and countries, collecting degrees and promotions, I was still figuring out if I wanted to be a freelancer, consultant, or solopreneur.
While their resumes kept expanding, I was still experimenting.
I was not playing catch-up.
Maybe we weren’t even in the same race anymore.
Some friends stuck around as observers, some cheered from the sidelines, and some left entirely.
New people entered my life, some stayed, some didn’t.
I became someone new.
Now, when we have reunions—a mix of old classmates, friends, and strangers—we still compare.
The big paycheck. The next promotion. The overseas trip.
Some are genuinely happy in their cushy corporate jobs.
Some have convinced themselves that this is the trade-off they must accept.
And then there are those who don’t get me.
Who look at my choices and feel unsettled.
"Sonali, don’t you think it’s time to settle down with ONE job?"
"Isn’t the experiment over?"
"What’s taking you so long?"
"Don’t tell me you’re still confused?"
These questions don’t come from curiosity.
They come from people who were once painters, musicians, writers, and dreamers.
People who locked away their creative selves in the storeroom of "practicality"
Maybe they’re not as happy with their choices as they pretend to be.
Maybe my choices make them uncomfortable.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” - Suzy Kassem
Because my growth challenges them.
It forces them to wonder
"What if I had tried?"
"What if I still can?"
But that’s not my burden to carry.
So, let them be.
Don’t try to convince them. Don’t let them convince you.
Keep doing your thing. Smile. Have a drink.
Then come home & shake it off.
That conversation is happening in their head.
And there’s no room for your growth there.
When Growth Feels Uncomfortable
Choose your own path, even when others don’t understand.
Own your decisions, knowing they don’t need validation.
Move forward, regardless of who stays or leaves.
Filter out advice that comes from fear, not experience.
Outgrow environments that no longer align with you.
Reframe criticism as a reflection of others, not of you.
Trust that your journey is unfolding exactly as it should.
Reflect & Rewrite
Now, I’d love to know from you:
Take a moment to reflect and write this down in your journal (or comment below or email me privately):
Have you ever felt guilty for outgrowing certain friendships? Were you truly at fault?
Are you making choices based on what you want or what others expect?
If someone else’s success makes you uncomfortable, what does that reveal about your own unfulfilled dreams?
Write back with your thoughts because I truly want to hear what you think!✨
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