Are you in a Toxic Relationship with your Job?
Are You Stuck in a Job You Hate? Find Out If It's Time to Leave
Work isn’t just about earning a paycheck. Work is a give-and-take relationship.
You bring your skills, time, and effort to your job, and in exchange, you receive not only a salary but also respect, growth opportunities, and a sense of purpose. This give-and-take forms the foundation of any healthy work relationship.
But like any relationship, when one side takes more than it gives, or if there's a lack of respect and appreciation, things can turn toxic.
So, what happens when your work environment feels more draining than rewarding?
When the relationship is no longer mutual, it's time to take a hard look at what's going on.
Recognize the Give-and-Take
The first step in understanding your work relationship is to recognize that it’s a two-way street. You give your best effort, creativity, and dedication to your job.
In return, you should receive fair compensation, respect, and opportunities for growth. When both sides fulfill their roles, the relationship thrives, leading to job satisfaction, personal growth, and success.
Actionable Step: Take a moment to list what you bring to your job and what you receive in return. Are you happy with the exchange? If not, why?
Identify Red Flags in the Relationship 🚩
Just like in personal relationships, there are red flags in work relationships.
These might include feeling undervalued, facing constant criticism without constructive feedback, being overlooked for promotions, or feeling stressed and anxious all the time.
If your workplace feels toxic, it’s essential to address these issues.
Actionable Step: Pay attention to how you feel about your job daily. Keep a journal to note down your thoughts and feelings. Are there more days when you feel negative or positive?
This can help you identify patterns.
Don’t Be at the Mercy of a Toxic Partner
Toxicity at work can come from various sources—it could be a difficult team member, an unsupportive manager, a demanding boss, or even a company culture that doesn’t value its employees.
You don’t have to tolerate unfair treatment. If you’re being treated unfairly or if your work environment is causing you distress, it’s important to take action.
Actionable Step: If you’re dealing with a toxic person or situation, document everything. Keep records of emails, messages, or incidents that highlight the issue.
This will help you when you decide to escalate the matter.
Take Action: Speak Up
If you’re facing issues at work, the first step is to communicate. Talk to your manager about your concerns. If the problem is with your manager, you can take it to HR or someone higher up in the hierarchy.
Remember, no one should make you feel small or unimportant.
It’s your right to work in a respectful environment.
Actionable Step: Prepare a clear and concise statement of your concerns. Practice what you’re going to say, and choose a time when you can have a calm, uninterrupted conversation.
Focus on facts, not emotions.
Know When to Move On
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, nothing changes. This is your answer.
If your concerns are not addressed, or if you’re continuously unhappy, it’s time to move on. There’s no shame in leaving a job that’s not a good fit.
Your mental health and happiness are more important.
Actionable Step: Start looking for new opportunities before making a final decision. Update your resume, start networking, and apply to jobs that align with your values and career goals.
Remember, it’s easier to find a job when you already have one.
Regularly Audit Your Work Relationship
Just as you would in a personal relationship, it’s important to regularly check in on your work relationship.
Every few months, take some time to reflect on your job. Are you still happy? Is there mutual respect? Are you growing in your role?
If the answer is no, find out why.
Actionable Step: Set a reminder every three to six months to evaluate your job satisfaction.
Ask yourself - Am I learning new things? Do I feel respected and valued? Is my career progressing the way I want it to?
This will help you stay proactive about your career.
Solve Problems or Seek a Better Fit
If you identify problems in your work relationship, see if they can be solved.
Can you have a conversation with your manager to resolve issues? Is there training you can take to improve your skills?
If you’ve tried everything and nothing works, it’s time to look for a better fit.
Actionable Step: Look into professional development opportunities, either within your current company or externally.
Improving your skills can open new doors and make you more marketable.
Believe in Yourself
One of the most important things you can do in your career is to believe in yourself. Don’t wait for others to validate your worth. If you know you’re good at what you do, own it.
Confidence can make a big difference in how you’re perceived and treated at work.
Actionable Step: Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Keep a record of your accomplishments and positive feedback.
This can boost your confidence and provide evidence of your value when you need it.
Keep Networking and Upgrading Your Skills
Networking isn’t just for finding a new job.
It’s about building relationships, learning from others, and finding mentors who can guide you. Keep expanding your network, both inside and outside your company.
Also, keep upgrading your skills. The more you learn, the more valuable you become.
Actionable Step: Set a goal to attend at least one networking event or connect with one new person every month. Sign up for a course or workshop that interests you.
This will keep your skills sharp and your network strong.
Give Yourself the Promotion and Validation You Seek
Don’t wait for your company to promote you.
Take charge of your career. If you feel you’re ready for the next level, seek out opportunities that will help you get there. Whether it’s taking on more responsibilities, leading a project, or mentoring others, show that you’re ready for growth.
Actionable Step: Set clear career goals and outline the steps you need to take to achieve them. Share your goals with your manager and ask for support in reaching them.
Take initiative and show leadership in your current role.
Remember, your career is yours to shape. You have the power to decide what kind of work relationship you want. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
Keep assessing, keep growing, and keep looking for the right fit. When you find it, you’ll know. And when you do, don’t hesitate to make the move.
TOXIC: A Simple Guide to Remember
Keep this guide handy as you navigate your career:
Take Action: Speak up when something doesn’t feel right. Address issues directly and seek solutions.
Open Your Eyes: Be aware of red flags and warning signs in your work environment. Don’t ignore them.
Xplore Options: Always have a plan B. Keep your resume updated and network regularly to keep your options open.
Improve Yourself: Keep learning and growing. Invest in your skills and personal development.
Commit to Change: If things aren’t working out, commit to making a change. Don’t stay stuck in a toxic environment.
Take the first step today. Whether it’s having a difficult conversation, updating your resume, or signing up for a course, start moving towards the career you want.
You deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your work. Good luck!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Hi new & old friends! I'm Sonali, and I speak for a living. Once one of the quietest kids in class, I've grown into my voice as a Speaker, Author, and Coach.
I’ve reached over 100,000 viewers on Josh Talks and been a keynote speaker & panelist at many Business events and Universities. I have also co-authored two books, one recognized in the India and Asia Book of Records.
I’m currently writing my first solo book about overcoming insecurities. If you’re into self-help & non-fiction, you would love it.
I’m a LinkedIn Top Voice in Public Speaking. If you’re interested in levelling up your presentation skills, my waiting list is open—just sign up through this link. I write this newsletter weekly, so stay tuned and let me know what you'd like to read about!
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